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Fun fact, find the answer at the bottom of this email.

Foolish Games was never released as a single in the US. How then, did it climb to the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100 chart?

Excuse me...
I think I've mistaken you for... somebody else
Somebody who gave a damn
Somebody more like myself

For those who need to let go

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Read time: 5 minutes

Lyrics

You took your coat off
Stood in the rain
You're always crazy like that

And I watched from my window
Always felt I was outside...
Looking in on you

You're always the mysterious one with...
Dark eyes and careless hair, you were...
Fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care

You stood in my doorway with nothing to say
Besides some comment... on the weather

The song details the frustration and agony of knowing that the intensity of one's love is not reciprocated by one's lover.el than you ever have with anyone else before. Maybe this person

Story of Song shared; Jewel Kilcher wrote this song as a poem when she was 16 years old, when she first started keeping a serious journal. The song is about the continuation of a bitter sweet relationship and someone that is completely enthralled with someone you connect with on a deeper level than you ever have with anyone else before. Maybe this person doesn’t know how she feels about him so she is dealing with the raw emotions of how he makes her feel which makes her frustrated. Her heart is racing out of control, longing for something he gives her. Something she has waited for her whole life, but her lack of confidence in the situation leaves her to question whether what she feels is real, or whether he has the same feelings. She is infatuated with this her lover and puts him on this pedestal of importance recognizing that there are problems in this relationship, she talks about him like he is an older man, maybe a missing father figure she always wanted. She doesn’t feel like she deserves to be in a relationship with this man. The lyrics could be an interpersonal battle of Jewel’s emotions. Her lover leaves her feeling vulnerable, scared of the possibility of spending the rest of her life without him in it. She has no choice but to keep going on. Her voice sounds like she is on the brink of breaking down. There is so much depth in it, and so much pain.
Jewel said that this song is: “about a relationship that I was dramatically involved in on paper. I’m sure he knew nothing of it. A year later, it evolved into a song. I think the woman is looking at herself saying, ‘Why am I involved in a relationship where I’m selling myself so short?'” Like with her earlier song.

Settling in a relationship, according to Psychology Today, can involve accepting a relationship that doesn't fully meet your needs or values, often stemming from reasons like prioritizing early stages, not appreciating later stages, feeling unsatisfied, or experiencing personal growth that leads to a disconnect with the partner. While "settling" can sometimes be viewed negatively as accepting less than you deserve, it can also be seen as accepting imperfections while still acknowledging the value and benefits of the relationship. 

Signs you might be settling:

• Feeling numb or indifferent: towards your partner or the relationship. 

• Constantly justifying behaviors that hurt you: or feeling like you're the only one making an effort. 

• Lack of emotional intimacy or shared dreams; mistaking dependence for devotion. 

• Feeling trapped, empty, disillusioned, or unsatisfied . 

• Partner continually trying to change or control you, assassinating your character, or hiding you from their social circle. 

Factors contributing to settling:

• Impulsive decisions: due to fear of being alone.

• Gradual drift: as partners change and grow apart without addressing the disconnect.

• Focusing on convenience over connection . 

Reframing "settling" and finding a "right" person:

• Instead of seeking "the best," consider what a "right" person means for you at your current stage of life. 

• Reflect on your own insecurities and whether they are influencing your perception of the relationship. 

• Focus on identifying key criteria for a great partner: such as humility, generosity, and willingness to compromise. 

What to do if you suspect you're settling:

• Take stock of your relationship: and assess if your needs are being met and if you feel supported and fulfilled. 

• Communicate openly with your partner: about feelings of being unseen or unappreciated if applicable. 

• Consider whether the relationship is a genuine partnership: where both individuals can grow and thrive, or if it's based on fear or convenience. 

Lyrics

In case you failed to notice
In case you failed to see
This is my heart...
Bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees, these

Foolish games are...
Tearing me apart
And your...
Thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart

According to Wikipedia, Stephen Thomas Erlewine from AllMusic described the song as "superior". Chuck Taylor from Billboard stated that it is the "quintessential musical moment" of the Pieces of You album. He wrote that "the vocally sweeping ballad offers the richest arrangement among her hits, with lyrics that affectingly express the emotional descent of a woman whose love is unappreciated, perhaps even unseen, by her object of affection". The magazine also noted that "this piano-anchored ballad places the singer/songwriter in a setting that is almost orchestral and far more lush than those of her previous hits". A reviewer from The Daily Vault said "Foolish Games" "works because of the wailing chorus both tired and yearning".

Lyrics

You're always brilliant... in the morning
Smoking your cigarettes
And talking... over coffee

Your philosophies on art
Baroque moved you, you loved Mozart
And you'd speak of your loved ones
As I clumsily strummed my guitar

You'd teach me of honest things
Things that were daring, things that were clean
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean

I hid my soiled hands...
Behind my back
Somewhere along the line, I must have gone
Off track with you

Excuse me...
I think I've mistaken you for... somebody else
Somebody who gave a damn
Somebody more like myself

Honestly, like so many philosophical songs of the 90s, this song felt good to sing along with. It felt empowering, healing, and made me feel intelligent for thinking along the same lines as the lyrics. Also, as a people-pleaser for most of my life, singing the lines “Excuse me, I think I’ve mistaken you for somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself”, was cathartic to the point of tearing up. I’m so thankful for artists and songs that provide therapy in ways we cannot process otherwise. What a beautiful gift!

Think about this…

Were you inspired, deeply moved, by someone who didn’t see the value inside of you?

Can you appreciate the gifts they did offer, and let the rest go?

Key Take Aways

• "Settling" can sometimes be viewed negatively as accepting less than you deserve, it can also be seen as accepting imperfections while still acknowledging the value and benefits of the relationship.

• We need different types of people in life. They complete us. The system of humankind is a type of sophisticated whole.

Fun Fact Trivia:

Foolish Games was never released as a single in the US. How then, did it climb to the top 10 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart?

Answer: "Foolish Games" was never released as a physical single in the United States, but it appeared as the B-side on the "You Were Meant for Me" single, which peaked at number two on the Billboard Hot 100 in April 1997. Radio stations soon shifted airplay focus to "Foolish Games".

Love is the greatest adventure!

~LaDena

Would you prefer to listen instead of read?

Check out my YouTube channel:

Love Song Sanctuary, YouTube Edition

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