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Best Relationship Advice from "Smoke Gets in your Eyes", The Platters, 1959
For those that have experienced love that is blind.
LaDena Kailing Garr
July 03, 2024
Fun fact, find the answer at the bottom of this email.
Why did the widow of the song’s composer consider legal action to prevent distribution of The Platters rendition of this song?
Feel-Good Relationship Advice from the Greatest Love Songs!
When a lovely flame dies, smoke gets in your eyes
For those who have experienced love that is blind.
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Read time: 5 minutes
Lyrics
They asked me how I knew my true love was true
I, of course replied
"Something here inside cannot be denied"
They said, "Someday, you'll find all who love are blind
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, when your heart's on fire
You must realize smoke gets in your eyes"
I love the lyric, “Someday you’ll find all who love are blind”. Perhaps that leap of faith is exactly what makes love so exciting and exquisite!
This beautiful song also reminds us that not all beautiful connections are our soul mates.
“Smoke Gets In Your Eyes” is a deeply and fundamentally sad song. It’s about losing yourself in love, ignoring all the friends who tell you that these things fall apart. And then it’s about losing someone and being forced to admit that all your friends are right. Lead tenor Tony Williams keeps his composure all through the song, singing with a sweet fondness that only lets in a hint of that sadness. But then he builds up to a fiery, cinematic final note, exploding upward as the strings swirl with him. The song must’ve sounded terribly old-fashioned, even in 1958. But it’s also immaculately sung and beautifully orchestrated in ways that only add to that central emotional gut-punch.
We don’t need to be all things to all people. We need to be the right things, to the right person. That person needs to be the right things for us.
Love isn't blind at all. Healthy relationships are in fact built on love, trust, commitment, intimacy and attachment.
You meet someone you like—and, importantly, someone who demonstrates unquestionably that feelings are mutual.
There are five crucial areas to deeply explore and come to know during the dating process:
-Family background and childhood dynamics
-Attitudes and actions of the conscience and maturity
-The scope of your compatibility potential
- The examples of other relationship patterns
-Strength of relationship skills
Lyrics
Now, laughing friends deride tears I cannot hide
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, so I smile and say
"When a lovely flame dies
Smoke gets in your eyes"
A lot of people believe that you should follow your heart. I believe that is wrong. Moderation is key. Everything must be in balance. There is always some ego attached to everything we do, think and say. We’re human. Be careful to pay attention to more than what feels good for our ego. Follow your heart, and follow your head, in equal balance. We need to listen to our responsible side. We need to listen to our spiritual promptings. Such a sacred decision as marriage is difficult. You make your honest, best, logical, emotional, spiritual decision and go with it. Trust your higher power that this would not put you in this situation unless it was something important for you.
Think about this…
Have you ever fallen in love very quickly?
What relationship advice worked best for you at the time?
Did the experience give you perspective as you moved forward?
Key Take Aways
Perhaps that leap of faith is exactly what is necessary, and it makes love exciting and exquisite.
Healthy relationships are in fact built on love, trust, commitment, intimacy and attachment.
We don’t need to be all things to all people, just the right things for the right person.
Follow your heart, and follow your head, in equal balance.
Fun Fact Trivia:
Why did the widow of the song’s composer consider legal action to prevent distribution of The Platters rendition of “Smoke gets in your eyes”?
Answer:
Jerome Kern’s widow disliked this version of the song so much she wanted to prevent it’s distribution. Once she learned she was to make large royalties on the sale of the single, she dropped her lawsuit.
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Love is the greatest adventure!
~LaDena
Certified Life Coach